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Jealousy with the arrival of a new baby

by Kimberly Schoobaar on December 26, 2020

A new baby. A new beginning. Not only for you, but for your first child. Your child is used to getting all the attention from mom and dad. And that changes, of course, when a new baby comes. How best to deal with that, I'm going to help you.

How do I tell my child?

If you are expecting your second child, it is best to tell the news to your first child as soon as possible. That way he has more time to get used to the idea that he or she is going to have a little brother or sister. If you have a toddler, you'd better wait until it's visible that you're pregnant. Otherwise, your toddler doesn't understand that something's going on because he doesn't see any change. If you tell me, be as honest and clear as possible. Just as parents sense that children have something to hide, children feel the same way about their parents. No one knows your child better than you. That's why we can't tell you exactly how to bring it, because every child reacts differently. However, we can give you some tips.

Explaining change

Of course, a lot of things are going to change. Including a nursery. If you're going to buy stuff for the nursery, it's good to involve your child. This way, your child is already attracted to the new baby. Make sure your child learns to share. Because from the moment the baby is there, jealousy would arise anyway. If you teach him or her how to share in time, they'll be better at dealing with it and will be better at learning to let go. Talk to your kid a lot. Try to explain as much as possible that when the new baby is there, not much will change. Especially the love for your child.

How do I recognize jealousy:

  • When he's nice to the baby but angry and aggressive towards you or your partner.
  • He's retreating.
  • Your child can start behaving more childishly.
  • He can suffer from tantrums faster.
  • Your child asks when the baby will leave.

Tips for jealousy:

  • Try to get your child to become more independent, so that he or she also learns to play alone.
  • Give your child the space to get angry or sad sometimes.
  • Give your child some extra attention when, for example, the baby is asleep. That way, he or she will be a lot less jealous when they see you with the new baby.
  • Involve your child in the care of the baby. For example, if you're going to wash the baby, let him or her help. In this way, a kind of sense of responsibility towards the little brother or sister is also created.
  • Let your child know that you love him as much as you love his younger brother or sister.
  • Show understanding of the jealousy and talk about it.
  • Spread your attention well.

Jealousy is very normal

Even though a jealous toddler can get the blood out from under your nails, you have to realize that this is normal behavior. Toddlers are not verbally strong enough to express their emotions.